main characters ®
(in novel 1 & 2)
Craig is your general dogsbody of a modern man who nearly always does as he is told by his wife, Launa. He loves gardening and model trains. Despite lacking inspiration and charisma, Craig is as reliable as a rock and the perfect family guy. On the exterior he seems a bit of a moaner, boring and frequently repetitive. But inside, Craig is dogged, hard working, protective, loving and very supportive. He is the roots and tree trunk who encourages the family canopy to blossom.
Craig’s straightforward – no frills - nature loses him his wife. His character symbolises the unhappy growing trend of female independence dumping the old-fashioned guy who mistakenly believes that having a full time job is enough to guarantee holding a family together. There are no work or relationship guarantees in our selling-based Western society and Craig’s one-dimensional mind struggles to keep pace with changing attitudes. Whatever happens though, Craig is always there for you when you need him the most. Their faithful dog, Jasper, echo’s his personality and is his best friend.
Cedric & Doris Jones
(in Apple Rainbow)
Cedric and Doris are a retired old couple who help Launa on her righteous path. They are a comedic duo who flick from profound philosophy to childish bickering at the drop of a hat. They’ve been married so long they are one-and-the-same character and finely tuned balance of opinions.
Cedric worked the land as a farmer his whole life and has furrowed integrity ingrained into a solid oak personality. Doris is as wise as an owl and knows how to care for people’s feelings. They both love arguing, gardening, Only Fools and Horses and Tom Jones. Their amusing contrasting opinions pull-apart like another one of their favourites; Battenberg cake.
Harrison Daniels is the epitome of a heartless and ruthless businessman who will do anything to attain fabulous wealth beyond need or compare. Launa goes head-to-head against his nefarious ways in a classic fight between good and evil.
Mr. Daniels was born with a large silver spoon in his ambitious mouth and sinks to the lowest of lows to get what he wants. He is a symbol of what happens when a child is starved of love and fed nothing but delusional elitist tripe. Daniels has a one-dimensional focus on money alone, which covers-up a complex, empty honeycomb soul which would secretly like to jump-off the gravy train, but doesn’t know how. He is lost, disturbed, single-minded, and very powerful with a scroll of corrupt contacts and therefore an excellent businessman.
(in novel two, Wearing Marshmallows)
(in the second novel)
Arthur is a swanky MP from the working class North of Britain, representing the upper classes of central London. He is a continuous fat walking contradiction and a filthy, unapologetic misogynist. Some men just can’t and won’t ever change for anyone and that is Arthur in a nutshell! He holds a lot of political weight and Launa is frequently forced to negotiate with his perverted ways.
Society has moved on, but Arthur does his bolshie best to hold back the tidal-wave of Feminist theory from entering Government and top business positions. To him, women are tea-ladies, objects to iron his tailored shirts and fun-bags at night. Needless to say, he’s a windbag with nothing more to him than a cigar posture in an old brown leather chair sitting comfortably in a gentleman’s club.
His sexist character was developed from real life American legal disputes against male workplace chauvinism, filed by female victims of sexism (mere jest to Arthur) and even sexual assault (a bit of fun to Arthur’s obsolete mind). Arthur has his work cut out for him when he meets Launa and reveals the reason he is the way he is.